Four step plan for suffering

My dear friend, Father Steve Sotiroff, recently gave a meditation about suffering. He offered a plan to help with suffering. We all have suffering in our lives. Suffering can come from what you do not choose, do not want, and cannot change. I thought it appropriate for this blog because we can have suffering in our own bodies and we can suffer for someone else. We suffer because our children are suffering. Fr. Steve’s plan is to identify, name, accept and offer.

Father Steve’s first step is to identify the particular suffering. So I would say that a particular suffering that I have is my daughter’s depression. I suffer from all the stuff that goes into and comes from that depression in her life.

Next, he has us name the particular suffering. This is a common step in many programs. When you name something, you have control over it. So the particular suffering I am identifying is that she does not realize or believe that she is loved by God. She is such a beautiful and lovable person, but her depression makes her blind to this fact. It makes me sad that she does not believe that she is loved by Him.
Then, I accept this suffering. I accept that I cannot change her thoughts. Of course, I am always offering things like, “God must love us so much that He made this sunset for us tonight.” or “God gave you the prettiest smile.” I don’t just accept the situation and do nothing about it. But I accept that I have no control over her thoughts.

Finally, I offer it in prayer, especially at the Mass offertory. When the priest offers the bread and wine, I offer my specific suffering with it. This is the beautiful thing about our faith. We are able to unite our suffering with His on the cross.